Pitching a Tent
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which trying desperately to bone Mirajane results in the family that Laxus did not at all, even once, want. Heh. - One-shot.


Pitching a Tent

Over the past few years, it became rather known in the Fairy Tail guild that there wasn't a damn thing Laxus Dreyar wouldn't do for his demon, Mirajane Strauss. He was devoted beyond belief. Would stay up at the hall with her until midnight as she closed up, just so he could walk her home. Even put in a few shifts if she was short handed. Was willing to go out on group dates with her siblings. Anything for her.

Anything.

Except the huge big get away with the Thunder Strauss Tribe (bleh, her words, not his; made him wanna vomit) that she had been begging him for since, oh, nearly the start of their relationship. A lot of it had to do with the fact that his damn followers were such, well, followers that the second he snatched up a Strauss, it was all they could do to stop themselves from doing the same. Freed, of course, was the odd man out, but made up for this in the only way he knew how.

He became best friends with Mirajane.

Which was even more annoying, but not enough to outweigh the annoyance that Laxus felt from the demon's insistence that they all go on some big vacation together because, hell, they were one big family. And a family vacation would be great.

Right?

Right?

Wrong.

So wrong.

So very wrong that Laxus didn't understand why he said yes.

Err, well, in a way he did, as it was Mirajane asking him. And, as with all things, the demon knew how to wear him down eventually. Her own special secret. Namely, she begged and pleaded and promised him things. Wondrous things. Sensual things. And, when that failed, she started banning him from things. Wondrous thing. Sensual things.

Heh.

Well, anyhow, eventually Laxus broke down and agreed to go on the trip with them all. A long weekend. Friday and go back Monday. Would be fine, he figured. It was fall then and the beach was out, being so cold and all, but he figured they could get some cabins out in some woods and spend some nice time up there.

Until Mirajane told him that, while the woods would be involved, cabins definitely were out.

"What do you mean?" he asked as she only grinned at him, those deep blues shining as if she had something up her sleeve. The thing was though, Mirajane always had something up her sleeve. Why he continually chose to be shocked by that, he would never know. "No cabins. Mirajane. Mira. Answer me. What do you mean?"

"I mean," she sang as she leaned across the bar that she was supposed to be tending, instead neglected as she taunted her boyfriend. It was okay though; as the grandson of the Master, Laxus held some clout.

Other than, like, with the Master, but whatever.

"That," she was continuing as he only continued to watch her closely. The demon was a tricky one, but it was one of the most attractive things about her.

Right up there with her breasts. And tight little ass. And the way that when she was turned on, she'd call him dragon (or even when she wasn't).

But, yeah, the tricky thing definitely up there. Somewhere.

"We should get," Mira was saying all slow like. It was allowing him to contemplate many things in between, but was also getting on his nerves.

Severely.

"Yeah, yeah, what?" he prompted. "What is it that you want to do?"

"Not too bright, are ya, Laxus?"

That came from Lisanna, who was passing with a pitcher of beer and no doubt had already been keyed in by her sister on exactly what they were going to do.

Ugh. Sisters were annoying. Especially when he was committed to one and couldn't fuck around with the other because he was all in love and shit.

Bleh. What had the demon done to him?

Growling, he sent Lisanna a glare as Mira only giggled.

"What," he repeated loudly then, "are the two of us going to be doing? Huh?"

"Well," Mira tried again, still leaning over the bar. "I thought it would be fun to go camping."

Laxus blinked. Then he frowned. "Camping."

"Uh-huh."

'The thing that I do, like, every single time that I go out on a long job?"

"That's the one."

"And now you want me to do it as my vacation?"

"Well, on the bright side, you already have a tent, so-"

"I am _not_ ," he told her harshly, "going out into the woods with your bumbling siblings and the Thunder Legion-"

"Thunder Strauss Tribe," she coughed.

"-as vacation. No. I refuse."

"That's not an option, dragon."

"The hell it ain't."

"Watch your mouth."

"No. Damn it, Mira-"

"No more beer for you." She snatched up his mug, just like that, before turning to walk off and no doubt get back to work. In a much louder voice, she called out, "Did you hear that, Lisanna? No more beer for Laxus."

Lisanna hear it? The whole dang bar heard it! And it was so fucking embarrassing. What the hell was wrong with Mira?

Huh?

He even heard a few snickers, over from the other tables. And, with a growl, he shoved up to storm out. First though, he shot a bolt of lightning out, in the direction of one of the tables, it connecting with another slayer's face.

"The fuck?" Gajeel growled as Levy, who was seated with him, fell over with even more giggles. "I wasn't the one laughin'! She was!"

And then Lily actually did fall over, right off the table where he was standing, all due to laughter.

Whatever. Laxus was done with them. With all of them. Especially Mirajane.

You know, until she came around his place that night bearing steak, potatoes, and a case of beer.

"I thought," he grumbled as she just keyed her way into the place (he regretted giving her one every day...mostly), "that I wasn't allowed beer?"

"At the bar, silly." He was resting on the couch, which was right at the entrance, and Mira headed over without fear of being rebuked. She was the demon; she could do whatever she wanted to the dragon. In fact, it was kinda their thing. "You can drink here."

"Damn straight I can. This is my damn-"

"Watch your mouth."

Sigh.

Sitting up, Laxus allowed Mirajane to take a seat next to him. The dish was covered at that point, in tinfoil, but he could smell what it was covering anyhow and snatched it from her hands.

"Rare?"

"Still bloody," she confirmed as she sat his beers down on the coffee table. "Let me go get you a knife and for- Laxus Dreyar! We do not eat with our hands!"

Maybe she didn't, but…

After that whole debacle, Mirajane skated around the elephant in the room like the expert she was, avoiding bringing up camping or tents or anything of the like. She knew what she was doing, his woman did.

Another attractive thing. Mirajane was large and in charge. Even of him.

Okay, so not always attractive and, sure, occasionally unattractive, but Laxus was feeling a bit...turned on that night by it. She wouldn't let him start any conversations. At all. She hardly let him speak! It was so...so…

Something.

He wasn't sure. Any other night he'd have probably hated it or at least told her that she needed to knock it off, but it had been awhile for them. He'd been out on jobs and she had her job up at the hall and, well, the beer was settling nice on his mind and she just kept talking and talking and talking…

Somehow, of course, they wound up in his bedroom because it was late and she was tired, but she couldn't be that tired, right? She was clearly leading him on. She knew what bossiness did to him. And when they settled on the bed, she was all over him. Laying against him, stroking his chest, going on and on about the bar and how they were overdrawn that day, but she'd just miscounted and gosh, her breasts felt night against him when she laid like that. Real nice.

And she was still stroking his chest and it felt so nice because, well, he hadn't taken his shirt off, but she'd unbuttoned it and she was feeling on every inch of it and man, his tattoo was so intricate it seemed, because she was tracing it forever and he got lost in it and her words which had moved on to something about what she ate for dinner, but it didn't sound like much of a dinner to him, because she never mentioned any meat. Damn demon.

What's dinner without meat? Huh?

'You're drunk," she accused as his eyes lulled shut. "Dragon."

"No." And he wasn't. Just buzzed. Thank you. "Am not."

"Mmmm." More stroking. Of his chest. And lower. On his tummy. It felt just as nice. His demon was a pleaser. "You know what I feel like, dragon?"

He had an idea. A great one. But as he was getting prepped to reveal it, she spoke.

"Camping."

And he barfed.

Mentally, of course.

Because he was just buzzed.

"Wha'? Mira-"

"I just think," she sighed softly, still gently running a finger around the edges of his tattoo, "that the two of us could have a lotta fun."

"Fun, huh?"

"Sure, dragon." Humming, she took to adding incentives. "Tiny tent with just me and you, snuggling up in our sleeping bags, but ooh, dragon."

"What?"

"I think I just heard something outside the tent. So now I have to slip over into yours, but we don't fit, but that's okay, because we'll just sleep atop the sleeping bags." All the while she was talking, her hand kept rubbing gently up and down his chest, almost flowing perfectly with her words. "But it's getting so cold recently, at night. Especially out in the woods. Not to fear though, is what you'd probably tell me, because you'd have your big fluffy coat for us to snuggle up under and I'd hold onto you because I love you and I'd feel so grateful towards you for warming me up that, well, I might just do anything you ask."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"Even…that thing?"

"Mmmm. Just the thought of it, in that cramped little space, makes me wanna rush out and find us a place to camp right now," she told him with bright eyes. "Doesn't it you?"

Most certainly. Which is why that's exactly what they did. That very next weekend, Laxus packed a bag, some snacks, and the demon up before taking off for a very secluded and cozy woods.

Unfortunately though, Mira over-packed. On people that is.

"Are we there yet? I'm so bored of walking."

On a lot of people.

"Cheer up, Lissy. At least we all get to hang out with boss, yeah?"

And even more people.

"He ain't my boss. He ain't man enough to be!"

Then some more.

"Hush, Elfman. He wasn't even talking to you."

And the last one.

"He is correct though, Ever. Laxus is far too manly to have anything to do with-"

"Damn it, Freed," Elfman growled, glaring over at the other guy. "I said that he wasn't manly enough! No one's as manly as me!"

"I feel like I'm pretty manly," Bickslow told them all. "Personally."

"I mean, if it's a contest," Lisanna added, "Ever probably has us all beat."

"By a long shot, Lissy."

That got them a cold glare from the woman and a swift reminder of the fact that resources were diminishing and Ever was quite the ecologist. In fact, she felt like making a big donation to the forest in stone.

Laxus though only glared back at them from where he was walking in front of the others, Mira next to him, trying to use his headphones to block them out. But the demon had this rule, see, about how his headphones could only be set to a certain volume or else she would take it away because, you know, the demon was kooky and didn't realize that the dragon needed all that noise blocking to keep his sanity.

There. He figured it out. That was what Mirajane did to him. She made him insane. Constantly. Every single day that they spent together (and occasionally the ones they didn't) was filled with mind numbing aggravations all due to the fact that the demon had limited his music listening volumes.

Seriously. He'd given it a lot of (half ass) thought.

"Would you," he growled over his shoulder at the others, "all shut up?"

"Now, dragon," Mira warned slowly. "What do we do when the others get you all frazzled?"

"I'm not...frazzled," he growled. "I'm-"

"Frazzled."

"Mira-"

"Careful, Laxus," Lisanna giggled from behind his back. "You get too frazzled and you might have to go into timeout."

"That's not a thing," Bickslow complained. "Mirajane doesn't make the boss do that. Boss, dose she make you do that?"

Grunt.

"Do that?" the man's dolls all sang. "Do that, boss?"

"Perhaps," Freed suggested then, "we could all stop picking at Laxus? Hmmm?"

"Thank you." Laxus turned around then, though he continued to walk backwards, just so he could point at Freed. "How is it that you're the only one that cares about me? Huh?"

"We all care," Ever said, though she was still busy glaring at Bickslow. "Freed's just a suck up."

"Hardly," the letter mage complained. "I am only saying the thing that you should all be thinking. Laxus is our fearless leader in all things."

"Maybe for Mirajane," Lisanna complained. 'Or for you guys. But definitely not me and Elf."

"Definitely," the muscular man growled, "not."

"I don't know if he's mine either," Mira said, glancing over at her boyfriend. "And Lax, turn back around."

"No."

"You're gonna trip."

"I am not."

"Okay, but when you trip and break your leg, don't whine when I make Elf carry you."

"No," Elfman said loudly. "A definitely not to that too."

"You will carry him," Ever hissed, glaring over at her boyfriend, "if he breaks his leg."

"Ever-"

"I mean it. You will."

More growls from the slayer. "I'm not going to break my- Oof."

And then he fell. But it wasn't his fault! It was Mirajane's. For putting the idea in his head. Not to mention dragging him out there. Her fault.

No. Her siblings. Because the demon, the cute little demon that was staring down at him in concern, was too amazing to be blamed for anything. It was her damn dopey brother and dorky sister that ruined it all by clearly implanting some sort of disease into the brains of his followers and seducing them with their disgusting Strauss ways.

Believe him, he knew all about those ways from Mirajane. Nearly impossible to resist. No joke.

"Dragon." Mira's eyes were round and for some reason she looked like she was spinning. Or was he spinning? Or was it the world? No, yeah, the world was definitely spinning. Perhaps even more than usual. "Are you okay?"

Grunt. His head hurt. He must have smacked it.

"Can you stand?" Freed was there too, looking down on him. And Bickslow. And Ever. Lisanna too. No Elfman, but he was probably just keeping his distance. "Laxus? If anyone must carry you, it shall be I!"

"Freed," Lisanna whispered. "He's, like, way bigger than you."

"I do not care."

"Yeah, well, since it ain't happenin' anyways," Bickslow grumbled, staring down at Laxus through his visor, "maybe we should try a different line of questioning, huh?"

"Here." Ever held out a hand for him to take, but he only laid there. "Let me help you."

Mira looked pretty was the only thing he thought of then. Even when she was spinning. Mmmm. Demon.

"Poor dragon." She wasted no time into transforming then, into her Satan Soul transformation. It surprised everyone other than Laxus, who was still rather dazed, as the others all took a step back.

"Uh, sis-" Lisanna tried, but once the tiles disappeared, Satan Soul on reached down to snatch Laxus right up.

It was rather odd too and just awkward all around, the way that Laxus only laid there in her arms as Mirajane stared down at him.

"I," she said, voice quite a few octaves deeper in her transformation, "will carry you the rest of the way."

"Mmmm." Laxus blinked. Mirajane. As a demon. His demon. Carrying him. "Mira."

It was so comforting. Mira taking care of him. She was so great. Taking charge. Again. And she knew how that made him feel. And hell, her doing it as Satan Soul? So sexy. She was so...

Wait. Blinking some more, he suddenly realized something. They weren't alone. At home. He hadn't slipped in the shower or tripped over the couch and needed her assistance. They were out in the woods with the others and, once more, his woman, the one that was supposed to do whatever he told her to, do all his bidding, was demeaning him in front of the others. For, oh, the millionth time.

"Put," he growled, "me down! What do you think this is, Mirajane?"

Satan Soul was a lot less giggly than Mirajane though and only continued walking. A whole lot less agreeable too.

"You are injured. I am only-"

"Damn it, demon. You're about to get a fist full of lightning."

"Yes!" Bickslow punched the air, hurrying along then so he could get to the front of the group. "I wanna see this."

"Laxus is clearly concussed," Freed sighed. "Perhaps we should stop our hike here for a time. Surely we can all use a rest."

"I kinda like when Mira carries Laxus," Lisanna giggled. "It's almost like she's carrying him over the threshold."

"Threshold of what?" Bickslow asked, five little voices echoing this question. "Pain? Tolerance? Emotion?"

"The house, you idiot," Ever sighed.

"Boss and Mirajane bought a house? Wow! When's the party? Or did you not invite me? Forget to? Invitation lost in the mail? Answer me, boss! Answer me!"

Laxus was, of course, ignoring him while he had it out with Satan Soul and everyone else was also ignoring him, but that was okay, because his words were only for the benefit of Lisanna. She always listened. And always laughed. The kid was great. Really, she was.

"Mirajane," Laxus was growling then because, hey, he was done with being carried. Really, he was. It was just...well, he was still a tad woozy. "Put me down."

"Dragon-"

"Now!"

She took a few more steps, careful with him then so that she didn't bump his head into any passing trees before finally coming to a stop.

"That's fine," she said, voice all deep and heavy. Leaning down, Satan Soul gently placed him on the ground. "We're here."

It was a clearing that Lisanna and Mirajane had, according to the latter, frequented a lot when they were young.

"We used to camp all the time," she told Laxus. "To get away from the hall. And Elfman when he was on our nerves. It was so much fun. There's a river that runs real close to the clearing and tons of fish. Tons."

Which sounded like hell to Laxus. Or at least a hell of a lot like going out on a job. The hiking there was never fun to Laxus. As a slayer though, he suffered from some motion sickness when he took other ways of transportation (albeit rather mild) and had to walk most places. Either that or lose his lunch. Maybe.

And, as he sat up, still dazed, Laxus found that it was much of how he'd predicted. Just a normal clearing. For normal clearing activities.

Hmmm. All he had to do was make it to the night, he tried to remind himself. Every night, really, but that first one would be the best. The others would be all tired for the long journey there and he and the demon could stay up late and just be together.

Now that sounded great.

"Here."

During his contemplation, Satan Soul had disappeared back into his normal, perky demon who was leaning down to gently pry his backpack from his shoulders and take his headphones off.

"Now lay down," she said. "And Elf, hand him a bottle of water, huh? They're in Bickslow's pack."

"I'm not," Laxus grumbled, "helpless."

"You can be," Mirajane offered as Elfman did as she asked because, well, she might not be a man, but she was definitely manly. She could be his boss. It was fine with him if she was. Perhaps better than if she wasn't. "We'll set up camp, okay?"

"I," he growled, shoving her away as gently as one could while also delivering a message to back the fuck up before getting to his feet, "am setting up my own damn tent."

"Oh, Lax."

"Don't say that to me." He waved Elfman off when he came bearing a water bottle. Turning to his pack, he moved to detach the tent. "And the rest of you set up yours far away from me and the demon. Got it? We need our space."

"There's enough room in the clearing for all of us," Lisanna said with a roll of her eyes. "You big baby."

"Look, girlie, I ain't in the mood for-"

"A whole weekend of this," Ever sighed as she went to take a seat on a felled log at the edge of the clearing. Elfman would be, of course, constructing their tent solo. Then again, he did a lot of things in their relationship that way. "Remind me why I agreed?"

Because she didn't have a choice. If Laxus had to go, Bickslow had to go. And if Bickslow had to go, Ever had to go. Law of the land and all.

"Do not be so negative," Freed chided. He, of course, was going because he wanted to. Because he was crazy. "Mira planned a marvelous trip for us. I for one am appreciative."

"And also way too close," Laxus grumbled when he noted where the man was beginning to set up his tent. "So back away."

"Awe," Lisanna giggled as she and Bickslow helped one another put together theirs. It was so cute that it almost made Laxus gag. "Laxus is being assertive."

"That's my boss," Bickslow agreed, nodding approvingly, as if proud. "He's a real go getter."

"Uh-huh."

"I want them in another clearing," Laxus told Mirajane as she came over to assist him. "Now."

"Oh, dragon."

"Stop doing that to me!"

Things go even more aggravating when Bickslow decided to enchant the pieces of the tent and have his babies put them together for him and Lissy. Mainly because that freed Bickslow and Lisanna up to _be_ aggravating.

"Look at my boss. He's great at putting tents together."

"I dunno. My sister, now, she's great at it. Look at that concentration."

"She's singing. Loudly. And carelessly putting things together."

"Yeah. She doesn't have to concentrate to do it. That's the point."

"Well, the boss, he ain't really paying attention either. Look! He's even comin' over here to say hi. Hi, boss! You- Ow, boss!"

"You two," he growled after smacking Bickslow in the head, "better shut up. Now."

"Laxus," Mirajane called over to him, still in a rather singsongy tone. "Leave them alone and come help me. And remember; violence solves nothing."

"It's gonna solve this."

"Dragon-"

"I just want some quiet," he told her then. All of them really. Ever glanced up from filing her nails with a nod of her head.

"Out here in the forest," she remarked, going back to her nails, "we should all get a bit of that."

So they sent Bickslow and Lisanna off, because quiet and them meant nothing unless they were sneaking around, spying on someone. Bickslow was stoked to go swimming in the river and, abandoning the tent making, he took the babies and Lisanna off to go do that with him.

Just them being gone brought Laxus some sort of relief. At least a tad. He was able to get his tent all set up and the demon wasn't bothering him much because she was busy helping Elfman get up his tent.

"Shouldn't one of us go supervise them?" Ever asked after about twenty minutes, when her nails were filed to perfection.

"Who?" Freed, long finished with his tent, had begun collecting fire wood, but was back in time to hear that.

"Bickslow and Lisanna," she said. "I mean those two idiots? In a flowing river?"

"They're not idiots," Mirajane complained. With a sigh, Laxus nodded.

"She's right," he agreed. "Until one of us is around. Then they pour on the idiocy to be entertaining. A lame attempt at that."

"Hmmm," Ever hummed, as if in deep contemplation over this. Then she shook her head. "Nope, they're just idiots."

"Bickslow, fine," Elfman grumbled. "But I know that my sister's not."

"Alright then, Evergreen," Laxus challenged. "If you think that they're such dummies that they can't be trusted around water, you go down there and watch them. Like that then?"

"No. Not at all."

"Too bad. Now scram."

With a huff, Ever got to her feet before stomping off in the direction the seith and his girlfriend had taken off in. That, of course, meant that Elfman had to go too because, well, just because. That left the dragon, the demon, and the deterrent.

"So," Freed began once it was just the three of them in the clearing. "I believe I have enough firewood now, so-"

"No, you don't."

"L-Laxus, I honestly do. Look. I think-"

"We need more."

"For what?"

"Are you doubting me, Freed?"

"N-No, I just-"

"Well, get to it, huh? And then go find the others and explain to them all, in full, just what kinda person I am."

"Laxus-"

"About how I don't take to others doubting me. Think you can handle that? Huh?"

"Y-Yes." Freed was rushing off then. "I will get right on that."

"Don't rush it. Speeches about me take time. Poise." Laxus stared up then, at the sky. "You should be gone for more than an hour. At least."

"O-Of course, Laxus. I am sorry for ever causing you to believe that I doubted you."

And then there were two. The perfect two. The only two. Laxus and his only one.

Gosh, he really hit his head hard.

"Well?" Mirajane prompted as he only sat down then, rubbing gently at the back of his noggin. Maybe he'd knocked something loose. "Are you going to tell me what that was all about?"

"What?" he grumbled, still rubbing. "He shouldn't doubt me."

"You," she accused, coming over to sit with him. They were next to their tent and Laxus was already figuring ways to drag her off in there. "Systematically got rid of every single one of our friends."

"I have no friends."

"Oh, Laxus."

"Mmmm." Leaning over, he moved to nuzzle his still sore head against hers. 'You think you can do something for me?"

"Depends on what it is, but ask away."

"You know that your magic confuses me."

"Sure. Your tiny dragon brain and all."

"So help me out here. Anyway you can turn into ice and, uh, help my head out here? Or what?"

"Dragon, are you honestly that hurt?" Mirajane lost all play in her voice then as she stared at him with heavy eyes. "We'll go home. Right now. To get your head looked at."

"I'm fine."

"But you just said-"

"Nothing a little, uh, cramped tent space wouldn't fix, yeah?"

Rolling her eyes extra heavily because she just could not believe that she'd fallen for that (and him for that matter), Mirajane said, "Never mind, Laxus."

"Demon-"

"Tonight."

"Tonight they'll all be...milling around," he said, gesturing to the clearing. "Right now though, I got 'em all good and gone and-"

"Tonight." That time her words were accompanied by a gentle press of her lips to his head before Mirajane got to her feet. "Now I'm going down to the river. Would you like to escort me there, dragon?"

He'd like to escort her somewhere, namely the tent (or back home for that matter), but still got to his feet with a grumble and a rub to the back of his head.

The things he did for the demon.

Heh.

Night didn't come fast enough. The food was lousy (fish sucked, especially when you had to catch it), the company was sub-par, and though his head got better from his previous injury, it did not stop hurting. Mainly because Bickslow and Lisanna did not stop annoying him. He thought a few times about taking them back to that river and electrocuting them to death, but he had a feeling that the demon wouldn't be one much up for that.

Hmmm. The demon. She sat in his lap a lot that day, though he couldn't tell if it was because she was cold, she wanted attention, or she was actually trying to be enticing for him. Laxus figured that it was none of those really, as Mira had a habit of just sitting there for no reason other than to be close to him. As much as he avoided admitting it, even in his own mind, he and the demon were rather attached.

It was late into the night when the others finally started shifting off and into their tents. Laxus was mostly interested in how Ever and Elfman's time in theirs would go. It was big, fine, but he knew Ever. And he knew Elfman. Just spelled disaster, that did. The poor dope would probably end up sleeping by the campfire in his sleeping bag (if Ever was kind enough to give him that much dignity; she typically wasn't).

Bickslow and Lisanna were the last to retire, as they sat around the fire and joked and giggled with one another because they were just so in love and happy and bleh. Bleh! Laxus hated it all.

Other than when he got the demon back to their tent. That was pretty good. She smelt real nice. Kinda like the river, 'cause she'd be in it, and a tad like fish, since she'd cooked them, but still like the demon. Always like the demon.

"Now, Lax," she began as, in that cramped, tiny tent she began to change into something more comfortable for bed. He just sat there, enjoying the scene. "You know you hit your head earlier today."

Well, duh. How could he forget that?

Unless, like, he hit his head _way_ harder than he had.

"Which means," Mirajane was going on as he only sat there, anticipation plain on his face. Usually he wasn't one for big emotions, but for his demon, he let the veneer fall and his inner (way inner) self come out. "That you might have a concussion."

And there went all that excitement. Face falling, he said, "Mirajane, I-"

"Hush." Shifting around to face him once she was all changed, she said, "Let me talk."

Growl. But one of defeat.

"Part of concussion protocol," she began as she edged right over to his half of the tent and into his lap. "Is not falling asleep. You know, so you don't die or something?"

"Or something?"

"I'm a tad fuzzy on that bit."

"Ah."

"The point though," she said, leaning her head forwards so that it could rest against his, "is that I am not going to let you sleep a wink tonight. You know, for your health."

"Mmmm." And he was back into it. Full on. From the start. Her hips were moving just right, in the way that she knew how, because she was just amazing and his and man, if she would just get to the part she'd promised, he'd pay her back tenfold. "My demon."

"Let's get you out of this shirt now, huh? And these pesky pants. Why do you wear pants?"

"Because I have decency, woman."

"You should wear shorts. You have sexy legs."

"You're crazy."

Mira only giggled though and he nuzzled his head against hers.

"I actually get that a lot," he said then.

"Hmmm?" She was working on his shirt and hardly glanced up.

"About my legs. Their attractiveness."

"Oh, whatever."

"They're definitely up there with some of my best attributes."

"As far as I know, you think all of your attributes are you best ones."

"Well, is it a lie?"

"Oh, dragon."

That time, she could say that. It was the perfect time for it in fact.

They were both busy, wiggling him out of his pants, when it happened.

Lisanna screamed.

It startled both Laxus and Mirajane and, if his hearing told him anything, freaked Elfman out enough that he attempted to rush out of his and Ever's tent and somehow took it all down in the process.

Then Ever was screaming. But it was less in terror and more in pure provocation. And also involved some threats of murder, but that was rather usual for the two of them.

"What is it?" Laxus came stumbling out of his and Mira's tent in only his boxers. "Lisanna? Where are you?"

The fire was out and Ever and Elfman were trapped in their downed tent, trying to fight their way out while yelling at one another, but there was no Lisanna. Ignoring the fact that he had no shoes on (or pants or a shirt and was still sporting a halfie), Laxus took off running in the direction that he smelt Lisanna's scent go.

"Lisanna!" Mirajane was still in what she'd changed into (Laxus was rather focused on himself that night, it seemed). "Where are you? Laxus, wait for me!"

Elfman, finally, figured out how to get out of the tent and took off after them, yelling the whole way about how dare someone touch his baby sister or something of the sort. Evergreen was quick to follow, though that was more because she was chasing after him, threatening him the entire way.

The last person in the clearing it appeared was Freed, who only exited his tent slowly before looking up.

"So," the letter mage said loudly, staring up at one of the trees were Lisanna was seated, trying to hold down her giggles, along with a visor-less Bickslow, grinning widely as his tongue hung down, and two of his babies. "Are the two of you going to explain yourselves or should I begin guessing?"

"Awe, man." Bickslow, with no caution to the fact that he was very high up, took a dive off the branch before landing gracefully in the clearing. "You saw us climb up here?"

"No," Freed hummed. "Rather, I'm not as foolhardy as the others."

"Whatever that means," Lisanna said, transforming into her bird soul for only a moment, just long enough to flap down to the ground as well.

"Best prank ever," Bickslow congratulated himself and Lisanna alike, the two high-fiving. Freed only stared.

"All you did," he complained, "was climb up a tree and scream. You cannot honestly believe that-"

"Na-ah." Lisanna crossed her arms over her chest. "We put some of our clothes on the Puppu, Poppo, and Peppe."

"And why would you do-"

"Laxus' tracks scents, yeah?" Bickslow was clearly proud of himself, tongue wagging the entire time. "So he'll be chasing those three around the forest all night!"

That time, the duo fist bumped. Then yawned, almost in sync.

"Welp," Lisanna said through it, heading over their tent. "Time to hit the sack."

"What?" Freed frowned. "You just sent them out on a wile goose chase-"

"Yeah and it was a lotta work, plannin' it and all." Bickslow waved him off. "Night then, buddy. And, uh, if the tent's a rockin', yeah? You know the rest."

"You two are unbelievable," was all he said to which they both ignored him. "Truly."

Yeah, they knew.

Eventually, of course, the little dolls got tired of their game and led the group back to camp where Laxus none-too-kindly barged into their papa's tent to mangle his body some. With his fists. And lightning. To the death. Until Mirajane and Elfman pulled him off.

Apparently, Laxus was not into pranks. As they found out. Again. Honestly, Lisanna just thought he didn't have a sense of humor.

"I," Laxus grumbled as he and Mira, finally, settled back into their tent, "hate them. I hate them. Both of them. They're idiots and I hate them. Did I mention that I hate them?"

"Oh, dragon, it was just a joke." She sighed as she stared over at him. "And I thought it was cute the way that you ran after Lisanna."

"The hell was I supposed to do? I thought she got, like, kidnapped or something. What? You thought I'd just stay in here and let you-"

"It was just nice," she told him simply. "Really nice."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it. Because-"

"Really," Mira continued as she scooted over to him, "really nice. It's so attractive, you know."

"I know," he said though he wasn't completely sure what she was talking about. Probably him looking out for her sister, but at the same time, hey. Everything on and about him was attractive. Who knew what she was saying? And who cared? He was still, without a dash of bashfulness, in his boxers and more than ready for that special cramped tent time that had been dangled in front of him before. "So attractive."

He wasn't talking about himself then though because Mirajane, for some reason, forgot that the whole night was supposed to be about him and was starting to take off what she had on which, fine, was great and awesome and he liked a view, but if she for one second thought that they weren't getting right back to where they left off, then she was crazy.

"Dragon."

"Hmmm?"

"You know that we have to be quiet, huh?"

"So quiet," he agreed to which she giggled because he was helping her then, undress, but just as quickly he was speaking again. "If I was anyone else."

"Here we go."

"I'm the fucking Thunder God. They should all hear me pleasure you and be pleasured in return."

Mira's face was indescribable. Mainly because it was too dark in the tent to see it. But he had a pretty good idea which one she was making.

"I've never thought about what the opposite of a voyeur is, but you are definitely afflicted with- Laxus!"

He was tired of listening to her talk. Completely. Seizing her distraction, he sat up slightly, burying his head in her breasts and nuzzling. Mmmm. Maybe camping wasn't so-

"Fine! I'll just go live out in the woods all alone. Is that what you want, Ever?"

"No, Elfman. I want you to not, gee, break the freaking tent-"

"Oh? You mean the tent that you had absolutely nothing to do with putting together? That one?"

"Yes!"

Mira and Laxus both froze for a moment before he just went back to nuzzling.

"Dragon-"

"Ignore 'em," he breathed. "And I think I was promised something special for coming out here, demon. You gonna get on that? Or should I say around?'

But he'd lost her then as she gazed at the zipped up entrance to their tent. "I hope that Elf is okay."

Growling, Laxus said, "Don't mention that dope's name around me. Not when I'm gettin' ready to-"

"Hush." She wasn't paying attention to him. "I'm trying to listen. Is Elf crying?"

"The hell am I supposed to know that?" More growls. "Mirajane-"

"I'll be back." And then she kissed him, surprising the slayer for a moment due to the deepness of it. She even went as far as pushing him onto his back once more and, for a moment, Laxus thought that he would be getting a bit more. Alas, it was only served as a distraction for her to hastily pull back on a shirt and slink out of their tent and out to the clearing, to check on her brother. Unable to contain himself, Laxus only growled out a soft warning to her.

"You take too long and I'll just take care of myself in here. How would you like that?"

"Actually," she mumbled just loud enough for him to hear, "I'd like that a lot."

"Mirajane-"

"I'll be right back."

Huffing, he only crossed his arms over his chest and waited. And waited. And waited some more. It wasn't fair. Why couldn't Ever and Elfman just strangle one another silently in their tent and not bother him at all? Huh? Was that just too much to ask for or what?

Apparently.

Sheesh. Where could a dragon go to shag his demon? Huh?

Eventually she came back, but he'd already gotten his headphones on and was not amused by her in the slightest.

"Elf and Ever are all made up," she told him. "Well, Ever's bunking with Freed, which I thought was a weird agreement for Elfman to make, but they all seemed fine with it and I guess it's not any of my business. I mean, you don't think they'd do anything together, do you?"

"You're the one that calls us one big family."

"Oh yeah."

"Now come here. I wanna-"

"Dragon, I'm tired." She fell into the sleeping bag next to his. "We have all weekend to-"

Pulling off his head phones, he said, "No. I was promised now."

"Laxus-"

"I'm getting it one way or another."

"You sound rapey."

"Do not."

"Totally do."

"Well, I didn't mean it that way."

"Yeah, I know, but you should really rephrase-"

"Never mind then."

"Dragon-"

"No." He turned to face away from her. "I'll just lay here, horribly uncomfortable for a multitude of reasons ranging from how you dragged me out to the woods and made me sleep on this horrible sleeping bag to the way that I keep getting my emotions toyed with-"

"Your emotions, huh?" Mira yawned as she moved to snuggle into his back. "Is that what we're calling it now?"

"My blood can't keep up with all these confusing signals. Pick a place for it, Mirajane."

"You're so weird." Kissing at his back then, she whispered, "And if you roll back over, maybe I'll have decided by now."

"No."

"What?"

"I'm not just a toy, Mira. You can't just turn me on and off."

"So weird." More back kisses. "And just admit it's because you're old."

"I'm not old."

"You're horribly old."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"If I'm old-"

"Horribly old."

"Right. If I'm horribly old-"

"And you are."

"Then that means that you're old."

"Huh?"

"You heard me." Finally, he rolled around to face her. "If I'm horribly old, than you, being only a few years younger, is at the very least old."

"I don't get it."

"You don't get it or you're just pretending to not get it?"

"Uh, do I have to answer that or-"

"No." Laxus moved to nuzzle his head against hers. "You definitely-"

"Oy, boss, are you still up?"

And there that went as the tent flap, which zipped on the inside, turned green, no doubt being enchanted by the seith, before unzipping itself. Then Bickslow was sticking his head in and staring at them.

"Oh. Wow. This place is pretty spacious. Me and Lissy hardly have any room in our tent." He just kept talking to as he crawled in there with them. "And it's so tall. You can practically stand. Oh, hi, Mrs. Boss."

Mira was blushing a bit, though she wasn't certain why, and didn't sit up as she said, "Hi."

"What," Laxus growled as he did sit up, just to glare at the seith. "Are you doing?"

"You got room for both sleeping bags? Wow. I was thinkin' that next time we all go campin'," Bickslow was saying as he settled in on the other side of Mirajane. It was very, very aggravating to Laxus. "We could get a huge tent and all stay in it together. I mean, it's just a thought, but-"

"Bickslow," the slayer grumbled. "What is it that you want?"

Blinking up at the top of the tent, he said, "It's kinda hard to say, boss, but, uh...well… I'm no good at this kinda stuff. You should ask Lissy. Or Ever. Saying sorry isn't my strong suit. That's what I'm doing, by the way. Apologizing. And wow, Mira, your skin is really soft."

"Thanks, I-"

"Stop...touching my demon!"

"I ain't tryin', boss," the seith defended. "Her leg just brushed mine and, well, it just sorta shocked me, yeah?"

"No," he complained. "No yeah. No nothing. Now get-"

"Boss, you ain't makin' this any easier. Now lady boss, if you'd kindly switches sides with me here so I can get closer to Laxus-"

"Well, I really would rather not, but-"

"Mira, don't move." Laxus grabbed her arm then. "And you get out, Bickslow. Right now."

"No way. Not until you apologize."

"What?"

"Oh. Heh." The seith scratched at his cheek. "I got confused. I mean not until I apologize."

"You have!"

"Not formally I haven't."

"Then do it and get the hell out! Me and Mirajane are in the middle of something."

"Something, ah?" Sighing, Bickslow shoved up and looked over at the both of them. His visor was off and his hair was a mess, but he only saluted them without a care.

"I'm sorry for making you chase my babies around the forest under the pretense that it was Mirajane's younger sister and that she was in danger. Pranks aren't funny. Unless the Thunder God is pulling them. I know that now and won't forget it."

"Yeah, that's great, Bickslow. Now scram."

"Aye-aye, boss." Another salute. And then Bickslow moved to get on his knees and crawl out. Only just as he was prepping to do so, the tent flap opened once more.

"You cannot," they all heard Lisanna hiss, "be serious."

"Lissy." Bickslow, still on his knees, held up a hand. "This is not what it looks-"

"You're spending special time with Mirajane and Laxus without me? Unfair, Bicks."

"That's," Laxus complained, "what this looks like?"

"What else could it possibly- Ew, Laxus. You're gross." Still, Lisanna only moved to crawl in there as well. "So? What are we talking about?"

"Well," Mira began slowly. "Bickslow was just telling me about how soft my skin is."

"Demon," Laxus complained. "And kid, knock it off!"

"No. I wanna be a part of this." She was moving to snuggle up there with them. "So, Mira, about your skin-"

"Out." There was no play in Laxus' voice any longer. "Now. All of you. Other than the demon."

"Well, I never," Bickslow complained. Honestly, he wanted to get back to his babies anyhow. "Come on, Lissy. We're not wanted here."

"No fair. You got more time with them than I did."

"And you get to spend more time with Ever and Elfman."

"Yeah, but that's punishment."

"Hehe. Why do you think I don't do it?"

"Out," Laxus yelled before getting up to go zip the tent back up. "You heathens."

And then there were two.

Again.

For the moment.

Because before he could even jump Mira, someone else was calling out to them.

"Ever," they heard someone say from outside the tent, "is no longer allowed to stay with me."

Freed. Now freaking Freed was interrupting them. Ha. It was almost funny. Almost.

"Go away," Laxus growled. "We're bus-"

But then it wasn't Freed talking. Oh, no. It couldn't be that easy. Instead, there was the sound of Ever at first complaining loudly about something that Laxus didn't quite catch and, of course, Elfman responding.

Loudly.

You know, because they were just loud people.

When Laxus wanted some.

When he wanted the demon, they were loud people.

Heh.

"-tell me what to do, Ever."

"The hell I can't."

"You told me that I could have the tent and you would sleep with Freed."

"Yeah, well, now I don't want to sleep with Freed, so-"

"And you think I do?"

"For the record," Laxus heard the letter mage complain. "I would not like to sleep with any of you either, so-"

"Would you all," the slayer growled as he hastily unzipped the tent once more before emerging once more, "shut the hell up?"

They were all out there, Bickslow and Lisanna either not making it back into their tent or rushing right back out at the sound of the argument, while Freed stood in front of his, arms crossed over his chest, glaring over at where Ever and Elfman were standing before theirs, arguing as they had the entire time. At the sound of Laxus' voice though, they each turned to glance at him.

"I tried to be nice," the slayer told them. "But you all-"

"No, you didn't." Lisanna frowned at him. "You hit Bickslow for playing a very innocent prank."

"I think," Freed sighed, "that innocent needs to be explained to you."

"Boss and I already made up though," the seith informed his girlfriend. "So-"

"Just let me fuck my demon in peace, alright?" Laxus looked at each of them in turn. Most of them look shocked. Elfman most of all. Bickslow though just nodded his head.

"No problem, boss." Salute. "We'll be, uh, waitin' here for you to finish. Then we can get back to the discussion on whether you've tried or not. For me, maybe at the start you weren't, but now, oh man have you been trying. Grade A effort, boss. Really. You-"

"Laxus." Mirajane was shoving her way out of the tent as well then. "Tell me I did not just hear you say what I think I did."

"You didn't hear what you think-"

"Don't just lie to me!"

"Then I don't know what you want, demon."

"I," Freed told them all loudly then. "Wish to retire for the evening. Ever is no longer my job."

"I'm not anyone's job, you little snake," she hissed, turning to glare back at him. "I have a tent. Elfman's the one that-"

"I put it together, I carried it here, dammit, it's mine!"

Bickslow snickered. "Look at 'em, Lissy. Pitiful, ain't it?"

"Completely."

Laxus only huffed. "Would you all just go to bed? Somewhere? Please? I suffered through a damn hike with you idiots, hit my head very hard trying to corral you, and now I can't get get the damn sex I was promised because you won't shut up? Seriously? You guys want my attention? Fine. You got it. Go to fucking bed, children. _Now._ And the next one that wakes me or the demon up can then explain to all the others what was so important that they got the whole trip canceled for everyone. Do I or do I not make myself very clear?"

There were a lot of grumbles. Especially from the two younger Strauss siblings. About how he wasn't their boss and all this other garb. Freed only nodded, as if in affirmation, before heading back into his tent while Ever mumbled something under her breath and went into the one that Elfman was going into and, though they both shoved at one another, Laxus figured they'd be good for the rest of the night.

Lisanna though stuck her tongue out at Laxus and her boyfriend saluted and winked at him before, finally, they went into their tent and zipped it up for the night.

Once more, for the last time, there were two. And then there was one as Mirajane only gave Laxus this horribly dirty glare and went back into the tent.

"What," he complained, quick to follow, "was that for?"

"You just told them that you wanted to… That's nasty, Laxus."

"Why? They'd figure out that was what we were doing at some point."

"Laxus-"

"I'm not even into it anymore, so whatever." Falling into his sleeping bag, he said, "This was your trip, woman. Do whatever you want with it."

"You big baby."

"I am not. And I have a head wound."

"Shut up, Laxus."

"You shut up."

"Excuse me?"

Against his sleeping bag, he grumbled, "My tummy hurts. That's why I'm being bad."

He knew that would get her, of course, as Mirajane loved it when Laxus not only let her treat him like a child, but also initiated it.

"Awe."

"I think it needs to be rubbed. That fish wasn't cooked well."

"Poor dragon."

"Poor me."

Slowly he rolled over and she moved to do just that. Stroke his tummy. Because he deserved it.

"You sounded very...fatherish out there."

He only grunted. "It's what they wanted. The little brats."

"You're just an old grump, aren't you?"

"Whatever gets results."

Sighing, Mira told him, "They are a bit annoying at times."

"At times? And what do you mean a bit?"

"Oh, dragon."

"This isn't the time to be- Oh." He wiggled his toes. "I mean, it can be that time. You know, where you tell me that and then you, well."

"Well.'

"Well."

"Mmmmm." Giggling, she said, "All this time and we still haven't gotten you out of the boxers."

"Please don't if we're not going through with it. It's kinda cold."

"Poor dragon."

"Poor me."

"You wanna get under the sleeping bag? Huh?"

Snicker. Not growl. Just that once.

"Why, demon, I think you read my-"

"Are you guys really gonna do it in there? Because that means that everyone can, right? Which opens up a very weird can of worms where we can all hear… And I don't want that. Please."

Now growl. And, "Lisanna, go to bed!"

"I agree with Lisanna," Elfman called out from his tent. "Sorry sis, but it's just weird."

"It is not," Laxus told them all harshly. "Now all of you go to sleep. Or don't. I don't care."

Then silence. For a good twenty seconds. Then Mira stared at Laxus.

"Are...we?" she asked softly. "Because I feel a bit awkward too."

"If you feel awkward, why didn't you-"

"I tried, but you were so intent on it. And then you got rapey-"

"I never got rapey!" Huffing, Laxus said, "I want to. They can all go to hell. Like what? We don't all have to put up with stuff? I'm the leader and what I say goes."

"Okay," Mira hummed. Only they both felt it then equally. The gaucheness of it all.

And that was when Laxus learned that no, he didn't like others listening in. At least not his family. It had never popped up before and, well, it did make him feel weird. And gross. And nasty.

Slowly, both he and Mirajane just looked at one another a knew that they were done for the night. No more attempts. Just done. Throwing in the towel. It was over.

Slipping back into his sleeping bag, Laxus said, "No more group trips."

"All I needed was one to feel complete anyways."

"Yeah, sure."

So they laid there for awhile, in silence, just watching one another. Laxus was already figuring a plan in his head, of when he could get the demon all alone and _then_ make his move.

And of when he was going to make a break to use his lightning body magic to get him into a town to buy some ice. His head really wasn't okay.

"Well," Mira told him finally through a yawn and a snuggle deeper into her sleeping bag. "At least you learned something today."

"What's that?"

She didn't answer, but he knew what she was talking about. It was official. There were no marriages involved and Freed was left without anyone, but what could you do? They were a family. A weird, extremely dysfunctional family that he was pretty sure he was the head of. The father. The father that, at some point, had to go and knock over Lisanna and Bickslow's tent the second night because, apparently, they didn't think it was nasty when they all heard them (it was, totally, Laxus had no idea why he hadn't realized it before) and the one that also had to trade tents with Ever the third night because her and Elfman just weren't going to be able to sleep in the same one and eventually the father that they all cut the trip short for because of his concussion and they were all worried about.

But no, yeah, they were never going on another trip again. Ever. At all. So the demon could just stop talking about those reservations she would make for a hotel (because camping clearly wasn't their thing and no, she did not feel anymore complete) and instead focus on all the making up she was going to have to give to her dragon.

Heh. Having a family was a lot harder than he thought.

* * *

 **I hope that someone enjoys this at least because it about got trashed, oh, twenty times because it had no direction and turned into the exact opposite thing that I wanted it to. Just another pointless group outing of them all to add to the masses. Meh. There needs to be more Thunder Strauss Tribe in the world anyhow.**


End file.
